My crazy life only gets crazier
by Midnight Prime
Summary: Prowl gets stabbed in the aft, jazz and Spiritfire decide to dance around in the Decepticon base, and…Why the frag is Ratchet naked? When Ultra Magnus sends Prowl, Jazz, and Spiritfire on a mission, they don't expect to encounter a bouncy room, jumping out of a perfectly good plane, and Jazzes killer farts. Spiritfire is my OC.


-This text was translated from the twisted mind of Spiritfire, all of this so called "fanfic" is taken from her processer without her consent. When she wakes up, I will probably be halfway across the galaxy. Primus help us all when she finds this….- Wheeljack signing out.

"So, you want us to go and get some information from the d-con base? Easy." I say to our base commander, Ultra Magnus. Prowl and Jazz were standing to the left and right of me. "Yes. But it will not be simple; Megatron is at the base along with his third-in-command Soundwave and Shockwave. You must get in and get out, the information you will need to get is on the data-pad in you ship. You will not have any backup. Is that clear?" he replies. "Yep! Can we go now?" was my quickened response. It had been sooo boring lately, no con's to crush, and Sideswipe had been shipped off to another base with his twin, Sunstreaker, to Optimus Prime's team, I think, and Rachet was out on temporary trip to Ceverers.

"Go. Till all are one." "Till all are one" I replied. Bounding off to the docking station, I hear jazz and Prowl catching up. "So, 50 credits that no one's home." Jazz says. "50 on somebots home and we will be in and out in…1 solar cycle." Was my response. "50 on we don't even make it, like last time." Prowl says, his infamous I-got-a-offlined-retrorat-up-my-aft demeanor gone. Stepping in to the docking station we looked for station number 239-gamma.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((0))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

"Are you sure this is it?" "aye, 239-gamma" "What are you? A poor excuse for a pirate?" "Shut up." I say, grumbling, in front of us was a rusted piece of scrap. It looked like it was about to fall apart. Taking a moment to gather my courage, it took my ped and poked the side of the supposed planetal transport ship. A piece of the rusted slag fell off into the depths of the docking station.::Ultra Magnus? Did you give us the wrong port number? It's a piece of scrap.:: a few microsceconds passed. ::Yes, I do believe I did.:: he replied. Frag. ::Yes sir…:: more like frag you uptight aft sir.

"Well, let's get on this piece of scrap mechs, and hope we don't offline." I say. Jazz, trying to look mechly, and doing horribly at it, went in first. After a click, he popped his helm out and smiled. "Looks operational, but their only two seats…" he says a slag eating grin on his faceplates."Oh frag no, not like last time. You molested me the whole ride there and back. I am sitting on Prowl." I say. I can't fly anything, past experience says not too. "Do I have a say in this?" Prowl asks. "Nope." I replied. Hoping on the tin can of death.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-:D

"WEEEEEE!" I yelled. "NO, SPIRTFIRE THIS IS NOT FRAGING FUN! WE ARE FALLING TO OF DEATHS!" Prowl yelled right in my audio receptors. "Ow! Fragger! Quite down! Jazz! Quit trying to see if you can make Prowl leak. We are almost there any way." "Awww…You take the fun out of everything. First I can't rub your aft all the way here, now this." Jazz pouts. "Whatever, tell it to somebot who cares." I say. Looking at the war torn surface of Cybertron, I almost sigh at the sight of my old city-state. It was a horrible place to grow up, but still, its home.

"…Woops, there's no landing gear looks like we have to jump!" Jazz says while opening the hatch to the door. "Ok!" I jumped off Prowls lap and took a running leap off the ship. "That was unexpected… I was kidding…" Jazz grumbles. "What the pit, might as well."Prowl said before he too jumped. "Aww, who the frag am I kidding." Was the only thing he said before he bounded off. Gravity taking hold of the 3 Autobots then plummeted them towards the metal surface of Cybertron.

:D.-.-$o$IDKblabalblablablalblbalbalb albalbalablblb

"Did you really have to tackle me in mid-air Jazz?" "Frag yes." "Well for you information landing on my helm is not- Spiritfire stop laughing- a fun landing." "Your point?" "Don't do it?" "Aww, come on, you liked it and you know it." Prowl fed up with me laughing, charged at me.

Still laughing like an idiot, and getting up at the same time is hard. Laughing like an idiot and running from Prowl is harder. Running around in circles, running from Prowl, and laughing like an idiot is probably the hardest. Talking me in mid air, he proceeded to pound my head in. Fragger. "Ow! Fragger, STOP!" I yelled.

T he Fragger had the decency to actually get up, but not without kicking me for good measure. Getting up I pinched his doorwings for payback, yelping (in an unmechly way I might add) he got the point. "So now that you two are done with your love fest can we get on to blowing up a Decepticon base, please?" Jazz says transforming. Taking the hint, Prowl and I transformed also.

Driving into the city-state of Kaon, we idled there for a moment before silently transforming. The smell of corroding energon, and dead protoforms assaulted our olfactory sensors. Decepticon drones patrolled the city, making it almost impenetrable from the outside, but we were going under the base through a secret entrance through the old service pipes for cleaning drones. It was going to be a tight fit and someone will probably get a nice view of my aft (cough*Jazz*cough), but we would make it. We had to.

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This is probably going to be a two chapter thing, but if anyone wants me to make this a full fic then I can. I'm so sorry about not getting to update on my other stories right now, but I can tell you I will not be doing any of my old stories they suck, so I am going to try to update this story though. Everything is all out of whack. There are so many things going on in my life right now, so many tests. So thank you for reading, I try to do my best (even if it isn't like awesome or anything…).*Midnight Prime signin out


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